Theory
Communication means understanding. Hence, in the process of communication, it
is not what the sender transmits that derives importance, but what the listener
understands. The interpretation of the message by the listener may be wrong.
This leads to misunderstandings. However, the understanding of the listener
depends upon a whole lot of factors. We are going to have a look at the traits of
different types of listeners.
Cosmetic Listener
The listener who is not at all listening, but gives indication or acts as if he is
interested in the information that the sender is passing over. He utilizes his
gestures and head nods to create an impression before the sender that he is
listening; however, he is not actually listening.
Passive Listener
The listener, who without any gestures or head nods or verbal approvals, listens
to the sender is called a passive listener. The sender, may feel, that he is not
listening. However, he is a very quiet listener.
Active Listener
The listener who listens with intent and tries to make an earnest effort to
understand what the sender has transmitted. He makes head nods and gestures
to the sender in approval of his understanding. He may also give verbal approvals
and as well summarize his understandings for the sender and ask him to continue.
Thinking Listener
The listener, who listens initially and later slips from listening to thinking mode,
preparing how to counter or oppose or disagree or what to talk, in return is called
a thinking listener. Thinking listeners, fail to understand in full, the transmitted
message.
Forecasting Listener
The listener, who hears something initially and makes an attempt to forecast the
conclusion of the message, before it is fully delivered, is called a forecasting
listener. The forecasting listener obstructs the communication of the sender, by
jumping into early conclusions.
Filtering Listener
The listener who actively involves and gets enthusiastic while listening to matters
that he likes and he who offers a deaf ear when matters that are not of interest to
him is being communicated is called a filtering listener.
Sinking Listener
The listener, who listens with a lot of energy in the beginning and who gets lost
on account of his unfocussed, wandering mind is called a sinking listener.
Empathetic Listener
The listener who not only understands what has been said, but the unsaid also.
An empathetic listener takes a deeper plunge into understanding the other
person’s feelings and emotions, so as to derive a better insight.
Hence, be active empathetic listeners, for if you listen you care and you will
understand the other person.
Story
Rahul had recently been promoted to team leader in his company. It was a dream
come true — except for one thing: he loved to talk more than he listened.
Every morning, he walked into meetings like a storm. “Let’s get things moving!”
he would say, cutting off halfway through others’ sentences. His colleagues
admired his energy but dreaded his conversations — because they weren’t really
conversations. They were one-man monologues.
One day, his manager, Mr. Mehta, called him in. “Rahul,” he said with a smile,
“I’ve got an important assignment for you. Tomorrow, you’ll be meeting our
biggest client, Mr. Fernandez. He’s quite a character, so handle him carefully. Just
remember one thing — don’t interrupt him.”
Rahul laughed. “Sir, that’s easy. I can handle anyone.”
The next day, Rahul entered the client’s office, confident and full of charm. Mr.
Fernandez, an elderly man with twinkling eyes, invited him to sit and began
speaking — about his company, his staff, his cat, his garden, even his favorite
movies. Rahul waited for his chance to talk business, but it never came. Minutes
turned into an hour.
By the time Mr. Fernandez paused to take a sip of water, Rahul couldn’t take it
anymore. He jumped in enthusiastically with his presentation. But before he could
finish his first line, Mr. Fernandez stood up and said with a grin, “Meeting’s over.
Thank you, young man.”
Rahul was stunned. “But sir, we haven’t even discussed the proposal!”
Mr. Fernandez looked at him kindly. “You weren’t listening, were you? I gave you
everything you needed to win my trust in that hour — you just didn’t hear it.”
Embarrassed and speechless, Rahul left the room, his confidence cracked open.
Back in the office, he confessed the entire episode to Mr. Mehta, who chuckled
and said, “Rahul, listening isn’t waiting for your turn to speak. It’s making the
other person feel heard. Once people feel heard, they start hearing you.”
That night, Rahul sat quietly, replaying the meeting in his head. He realized he
remembered every word Mr. Fernandez had said — the stories, the tone, the
warmth — but had been too focused on replying rather than understanding.
The next time he met a client, he decided to do one radical thing — stay silent
until the other person finished speaking. To his surprise, people opened up more.
Deals got easier. His team began to trust him. His conversations became lighter,
deeper, even fun.
Months later, Mr. Fernandez met him again, shook his hand, and said with a wink,
“Now you’re talking — because now you know how to listen.”
Rahul smiled. He had learned that listening wasn’t a skill for communication — it
was an act of caring. And when you truly care, people don’t just hear your words…
they feel your heart.
Activity
1. List out strategies to get deep involved in the process of listening.
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Quote
“Most of the successful people I’ve known are the ones who do more listening
than talking.”
― Bernard M. Baruch
Take Away
1. Listening let us understand others and what they have said.
2. Be an active empathetic listener.