Theory
Humans have many emotions like love, hatred, anger and happiness. But these
have to be coordinated in a proper way. A person’s understanding of his/ her
emotions along with that of other people to create an environment of
collaboration is termed as emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is the
capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle
interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically. Emotional quotient
(EQ) is the level of a person’s emotional intelligence, often as represented by a
score in a standardized test. Emotional Intelligence is absolutely essential in the
formation and enhancement of close interpersonal relationships.
Researchers have proved that high intelligence quotient (IQ) helps us to learn new
things, make reasoning in various settings and apply our knowledge in what we
do. But EQ has a limit less scope far beyond all other cognitive skills. Our EQ helps
us to sense, understand and apply emotion for higher productivity. Research
studies also brings to light that 90% of high performers at the work place possess
high EQ, while 80% of low performers have low EQ.
While studying the cases of successful people we understand that 10-25% of their
success is attributed to their IQ, the rest is because of their high EQ, which is a
measure of their mental health, job performance and leadership skills. As
individuals our success of life, as well as that of our profession depends on our
ability to read others and respond appropriately. Hence EQ has become a global
trend for success in our lives and career.
Ways to enhance our Emotional Quotient
1. Find time to find out how we feel before we meet people.
2. Decide upon whether we are in our resourceful state or not.
3. If we are not in our resourceful state, try reducing negative emotions.
4. Build up good thoughts as good thoughts lead to good emotions.
5. Once we have moved over to the resourceful state we can meet people and
communicate with them.
6. Feel relaxed and stay cool.
7. Try and be proactive rather than being reactive.
8. We should manage our stress levels.
9. Listen to people with care.
10. Improve our empathy.
11. Express our ability to be flexible
12. Value people, their feelings
Story
In the early years of her career, Anita worked in a bustling corporate office — the
kind where deadlines ruled and tempers often ran short. Her boss, Mr. Raymond,
was brilliant but impatient. He spent most of his day behind a closed glass door,
barking orders to his secretary, Linda, from across the room.
Whenever he needed something, instead of walking the few steps to her desk, he
would shout — loud enough for everyone to hear. “Linda! Where’s that file?
Linda! Didn’t I tell you to send that mail?”
The office would fall silent for those few moments. Anita would glance up from
her computer and see Linda sitting quietly, typing away, never arguing, and never
flinching. Her face was calm, almost detached. But every time Anita heard that
voice echo, something inside her stirred — a mix of anger, empathy, and
helplessness.
One afternoon, after yet another episode, Anita walked over to Linda’s desk. Her
voice was gentle. “I’m so sorry you have to go through this every day,” she said
softly. “It’s not right for him to speak to you like that. You don’t deserve this.”
She expected relief, or maybe gratitude — but Linda simply looked up, smiled
faintly, and said, “Oh, that? It doesn’t really bother me. He’s just being himself.”
Then she turned back to her work, calm and composed.
Anita stood there, a little taken aback.
She walked back to her seat with questions swirling in her mind. How could
someone be okay with being treated like that? Was she pretending? Had she
stopped feeling? Or had she just accepted things as they were?
Years later, with experience and maturity, Anita would understand what she
couldn’t that day.
She had mistaken sympathy for empathy. She had tried to offer compassion that
wasn’t being sought. Linda wasn’t broken — she had simply learned to handle her
boss in her own way. Anita’s well-intentioned comfort had come from her own
discomfort, not Linda’s need.
That realization changed Anita’s understanding of emotional intelligence forever.
She learned that empathy isn’t about fixing someone’s feelings — it’s about
reading them.
It’s about sensing when to step in, how much to say, and when silence can be the
kindest form of support.
True compassion is not a reflex — it’s an art.
It requires awareness, timing, and the humility to accept that sometimes, people
aren’t ready to receive what we want to give.
Emotional intelligence is not just about managing our own emotions — it’s about
tuning in to the rhythm of others.
Activity
Do an analysis on your emotional intelligence and ascertain how well you are able
to get along with people.
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
Quote
“When awareness is brought to an emotion, power is brought to your life.” – Tara
Meyer Robson
Take Away
1. Emotional intelligence is the capacity to be aware of, control, and express
one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and
empathetically. Emotional quotient (EQ) is the level of a person’s emotional
intelligence.
2. Follow the 12 point strategy to enhance your emotional quotient.